


Twilight Paradise

by Aly_Winchester, TheGirlFromTheStars



Series: Adventures In Time And Space [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Cinderella - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Maid, Masked ball, Pregnancy, Victorian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-17 11:27:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2307992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aly_Winchester/pseuds/Aly_Winchester, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlFromTheStars/pseuds/TheGirlFromTheStars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Victorian AU for the lives of John Smith and Adrianna Rivers</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Cast for this story is as follows:  
> Emma Watson as Adrianna Rivers-Smith, David Tennant as John Smith, Daniel Radcliffe as Micheal Pierce, John Barrowman as Jack Harkness, Catherine Tate as Donna Noble, Billie Piper as Rose Tyler, Camille Coduri as Jackie Tyler, Shaun Dingwall as Pete Tyler

Adrianna made her way up the backstairs, her hands full with freshly clean sheets. As she climbed, her boot became caught in one of her many layers of skirts and petticoats. She groaned, reaching down to tug at the fabric. “Too. Many. Stupid. Layers.” Her words were broken up as she pulled, exasperated. She knew that it was the fashion for women to wear layer upon layer of skirts, that it was _proper_ , that it was _modest_. But in all honesty, she’d rather walk around in a pair of men’s trousers instead of all the skirts that were required. Easier said than done. The staff would surely laugh at her, and most of them would probably be thinking that she was crazy, and she’d be out of a job. She couldn’t be released, she needed this job. Getting her boot out of the way, she continued towards her destination – the master’s room. Adrianna had yet to meet the master because he had been called away on business right before she’d been hired by the head servant, nearly two weeks ago. The large oak door in front of her was pushed open and she crossed across the floor, the oak panels stretching from one side of the room to the other. Standing in front of the considerably large bed, she pulled off the old bedding to be replaced by the fresh ones in her hands. The entire house was preparing for the master’s return, which would be any day now.

The ride was long and bumpy and John was tired. It had been a long month sleeping in shoddy motel rooms and eating barely cooked or too cooked pub food. He was busy all the time. Too many people, too little time. So when he finally got the chance to go home, he was cranky and exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep. Everyone knew he was usually a fair, reasonable man. He heard talk that people liked working for him because his wages were the best in the city. But it was times like this he wished he could let everyone go and be alone. Just for a little while. He was watching each familiar house and building pass by the cart as they trotted by. John sighed in relief. Finally, his own bed and his own house with clothes that weren't stiff from overuse. He barely grunted a thank you to his driver once they arrived at the front door. "Mr. Smith!" John winced slightly as he heard the voice, but then turned to see his head maid, Donna, red hair shining in the moonlight as he walked forward with his bags. Two younger boys ran forward to take them and run them inside to throw his clothes in the wash. "Donna," he said politely. "Glad to be home."

"Don't blame ya, Sir." She followed him inside and took his coat from him. He waved her away gently and took quick footsteps upstairs to get to his room. He'd sleep and eat in the morning. Yawning, he pushed his door open and ran a hand down his face. Finally alone, peace and quiet and- Apparently not. A woman he's never seen before standing there. He rose his eyebrow and stared at her in confusion. "...is there a reason you're in my bedroom?"

Adrianna had been assigned the master's room, though she wasn't entirely sure why. She set to work tidying up, and fetching things, and cleaning odds and ends until she'd heard a carriage pull up. She crossed the floor to the window, her tiny fingers pulling back the heavy curtains to take a look. Several servants, including Donna, rushed forwards and took his things, talking as they went. It had to be the master, no one else made sense and they weren't expecting visitors. She was just about to leave, no doubt he'd want his room back, when she was startled. Her body jumped at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, not expecting it in the least bit. Turning around, she saw a man in the doorway, and there he was. John Smith himself. Her head dipped in a different sort of bow. "Sorry sir. Just cleaning up till your return sir." She swallowed softly, her hands clasping themselves together behind her back, her fingers fidgeting and playing with themselves. She should have left before now. "I'll.. just be off then." She got to the door her hand resting on the door frame before she'd turn the corner. Looking back, she offered him a small smile. "Welcome back sir." And then she popped off, closing the door behind her because it wasn't even close to her place to stay, unless he'd had a chore for her to do or something. Clearly he'd just wanted a rest, so as for now she'd take care of other duties.

He kind of just blinked at her as she left. He hadn't seen her at his home before and he knew everyone; he'd have to talk to Donna about it. Then he faintly remembered telling her she could hire others if needed. Work was becoming scarce around the city and the work around the house itself was getting harder. So he let Donna hire on a couple people of her choosing. This girl must be one of them. After she was gone—he'd find out more about her tomorrow—he started stripping off his clothes to get to his sleep wear. Nothing. Even in the dead of winter he slept like that. It was a bit liberating and very comfortable. That's definitely all he needed. As he climbed in, most of him felt bad for saying what he did, but he would apologize in the morning. Sleep was the only thing on his mind and he barely had time to blow out the nearby candle before he was out, mind swimming over black clouds as he slept fitfully for the first time in weeks.

x.x.x.x.x

Adrianna headed back to the kitchen to fetch her dinner, one that was much better than what she'd had for a bit. Ever since her father died, it had been her eating whatever she could find till she'd heard of work here at the mansion. Surprisingly, it had been much easier to obtain work here. Carrying her plate up the servant's staircase and walking to the right, and then up another flight of stairs, she pushed the door to her room open, her back closing it behind her. Quickly, she set the tray on the small table and lit the candle sitting atop it. It wasn't much, a tiny chest for clothes, a bed, a table and a chair, but it suited her. And, there was a window. Even with the colder weather now, it was still arguably her favorite feature of the room. She ate quickly, already feeling the room begin to grow colder as night fell. She slid into bed, pulling up. He had a friendly face, but very tired eyes. She'd heard he was a kind man, so maybe her stay here wouldn't turn sour.

He wound up twisted in his sheets, his legs immobilized and his arms to his sides. He grumbled softly, but managed to detangle himself and pull on some pants and a loose shirt before Donna bustled in with his breakfast. He smiled to her softly. "Thanks," he murmured. She made sure he drank most of his tea and ate most of his eggs with a promise to bathe before she left the room with the tray. He sat back and looked out the window, the grounds of his house full of people tending to horses and pigs and cattle, cutting the grass and trimming the flowers and hedges. He faintly heard voices from the kitchens below and others cleaning the large house. And when he was done, he finished dressing and went to find the new girl. He asked around some before he was directed upstairs. He hoped he didn't surprise her; he was known to visit the servant quarters often and now was as good of time as any. Slowly he searched the halls until he found the right one and locked his arms behind his back, knocking softly so he didn't startle her.

She had woken up as early as she normally did, the sky dark outside. She lit the candle as she dressed into her second outfit, she only owned three because she'd had to sell the rest. Most of her "things" had been sold after she was on her own. The house, the livestock, the clothes... the books. The books were what she missed most of all, and had sold all but two. Those two she'd read time and time again, but she never tired of them. She'd always love them, and they kept a place on the table. Just before she went out of her room to set about to daily duties a knock came on the door. Probably another one of the servants come to tell her to get a move on with this or that. To her surprise, it was Mr. Smith, not one of the staff. She was instantly on her guard, and just a bit nervous to have him there, but she hid it for now. No, there probably wasn't any reason to be nervous, if his reputation was true. She opened the door all the way, stepping backwards should he like to come in. "...Can I help you sir…?"

He nodded some in thanks for being let in, his arms locked behind his back still. He glanced around some and saw she had less than most of the other servants and resisted the urge to frown. Still, he stood in the doorway with a polite smile and studied her some. He also resisted the urge to call her beautiful. That wasn't proper of him. Still he looked just to see if he could figure out more about her just by looking. "You seem to have me at a disadvantage. You know my name, but I do not know yours." He held out a hand. "Doctor John Smith. Welcome to the house, my lady." Even as her boss, he could still care. He could still get to know his staff. Even if their class was beneath his, they were all humans.

"Yes, I do know who you are sir." She nodded once in confirmation, her eyes downcast.. "It would be more than strange to not know one's own boss." She glanced up, curiosity growing to find him looking at her. Immediately she looked back down. Each man's rules were different, especially with servants and how they should address/approach their employees, and she wasn't sure yet what his guidelines were. She couldn't very well look at him for too long or he'd think her forward. Even though he was handsome to look at, it wasn't her place. And then there was the whole issue of him possibly having a woman of his own; she didn't know too much of his personal life to know if he was taken in some way or not. Her eyes dropped down to look at his hand and she wiped her own on the back of her skirt. The gesture surprised her a bit; normal bosses usually didn't do that, nor speak that way to servants. It took a minute to know how to respond, had he really just called her that?

_...Curious._

Her hand extended and gripped his gently, almost tentatively. Almost unsure where to go from there. "Adrianna Rivers, sir."

The polite smile became larger almost on it's own volition and he gently shook the delicate hand laid in his. Soft, not the usual servant's hand, but she did seem like this was her first position of this kind. It made him wonder how she got there, but he didn't ask. He didn't want to barge into her personal life that clearly wasn't his business. "It is very nice to meet you, Miss Rivers. As I said, welcome to the house. I trust Donna with everything so I suspect she made a very wise choice when she hired you in my absence." He took his hand back, forcing a more firm tone in his voice, but he didn't want her to think him cruel or cross so he also tried to keep it light.

"There are not very many rules I have other than the obvious. No stealing. Do not take any of the animals off the land without my consent. Meal times for myself are prompt: 7am for breakfast, 12pm for lunch, and 5pm for dinner. Your day will begin and end with mine; you are free you do whatever you wish before and after. If you want to bring guests over that is fine, but if they are to dine or stay with you, you must tell me first. Please refrain from relationships with other staff, but if you must I would rather find out about it from you before the gossip of the other staff.

"The horses are free for you to ride in your free time, just please tell Donna or the stable master, Jack. If you need them to get across the grounds for a task, no need to tell anyone, but it would be wise just in case. Your duties will mainly be in the house, but if someone were to fall ill than I might ask you for garden or animal care. Winter you will have use of the fireplace in the main room to get coals to heat your room. If you fall ill at any time, _please_ tell me, I am after all a doctor and would rather help you than hear you are ill from someone else. And I will not fire you, that is a guarantee."

He stopped his long speech and let the firmness in his voice leave so it was more friendly than bossy. He didn't like that tone nor wanted to use it on the people who worked with him. "Any questions I am always open to answer as is anyone else. If I am in the office with a patient the door is closed, otherwise it is open. If I am in my chambers, feel free to knock." He nodded gently and let that wider smile show again. "Anything I can answer for you now, Miss Rivers? I am sorry if I threw that at you too quickly. And I probably missed something, daft old fool that I am, so if I have and I remember Donna or I will tell you later." He chuckled and finally stopped talking.

She nodded, following along with him as he spoke. Most of this she had already been told when she had first arrived, but one, he couldn't know that or probably didn't, and two, he was the master of the house so he could do whatever he bloody well pleased. "Thank you sir. You're quite kind." Of course he would make sure to tell her the rules of the house. Most were similar to ones she had seen before, though there were the odd ones here and there. She hadn't worked for a doctor before, so that was a new experience. At least she wouldn't be back on the streets for getting ill. She hadn't expected him to want to hear from her. "Well...I suppose..." There were many things that she could ask him, but she wasn't sure if she should just yet. "How was your trip sir?"

That question surprised him a bit and he looked at her in shock before smiling appreciatively and chuckling. "It was very nice, thank you. It...well, I shall put it this way: the wagon ride out was better than the one coming back." He chuckled again. She didn't care, why in the world did he say that? Damned if he knew. Damned if he knew why he was nervous either. No he wasn't...he was just being daft.

Clearing his throat, he tried to straighten his back up some to gain that air of confidence back. Even if he never was except for his work, he had to act it. "I trust you have settled in well in my absence? I hope your arrival was welcomed. I apologize for not being here for it myself." He nodded his head politely to her. One thing he never did was show nervousness to others especially servants, but his ever present habit of running his hand through his hair and royally messing it up appeared with a shy look.

She couldn't help her smile as it grew, watching him respond. What he said was similar to journeys that she had made before. Her hand covered her mouth as an unexpected giggle tumbled out and she shut her mouth to stop it from continuing. "I can relate sir." Her hands reached down to press her fabric of her skirts down, a habit that was usually done in nervousness or to keep herself from rambling or speaking when she shouldn't or just to keep her hands busy. All unimportant reasons why, but it still happened often. "I did sir, thank you. Your staff is a welcome bunch, so it was pleasant." Her head shook, dismissing his words. "Perfectly alright sir. You had business. I wouldn't have expected you to return or drop it merely for some new addition to staff, especially for one that is just at a servant's station." She smiled slightly. No man would do something like that.

But somehow she got the feeling that if someone would act in that manner, this master just might.

He watched her fidget, heard the giggle and no that wasn't the cutest thing he'd ever heard... Quickly pushing that can of worms aside, he shrugged slightly and found himself leaning easily, casually against the nearest wall. "Well I would have still liked to have been here, but I believe you are right, if I left I think those people would have just started a rebellion." He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair yet again. No, too casual, too nervous. Quickly he stood up and allowed the smile to stay, though it was more like the one he had when he walked in. "Well..." He cleared his throat. "It is lovely to have you here and I see you have questions, but I will give you time." He nodded once and backed for the door. "I believe Donna is waiting in the kitchen, must not keep her waiting any longer. I have babbled enough." A short chuckle. "Tell her you were talking with me and you should be fine." He stepped out the door. "Good day, Miss Rivers." Quickly he walked out, careful not to sound like he wanted to get away. Even he didn't know why he had to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast for this story is as follows:  
> Emma Watson as Adrianna Rivers-Smith, David Tennant as John Smith, Daniel Radcliffe as Micheal Pierce, John Barrowman as Jack Harkness, Catherine Tate as Donna Noble, Billie Piper as Rose Tyler, Camille Coduri as Jackie Tyler, Shaun Dingwall as Pete Tyler

Miss Rivers waited until he had left completely, watching him disappear down the stairs before she exited her room as well. Odd. She hadn't expected any sort of discussion like that with Mr. Smith, or any at all. But now was not the time to try and discover why he'd entered her room, but rather to get down to the kitchens and work. She explained her reason for being a few minutes tardy and Donna, thankfully, was the kind of person who wouldn't, and didn't, get upset with an explanation like that. After all, he was the master - should he wish to speak to servants he had that liberty. Most of the morning she worked in the kitchens until it was nearly noon and Mr. Smith's lunch had to be prepared. Adrianna kept mostly quiet as she worked, watching another girl prepare his meal. 

She moved here and there for different things, just keeping her mouth shut and her ears opened. She had found that more often than naught, if one was quiet, one could hear more because one was almost forgotten. Apparently Mr. Smith was a delight among the younger servant girls, and a frequent topic in gossip. He was adored by all of them not married and anywhere from Reinette, who was fifteen, to Martha, a girl who was only three years older than Adrianna's twenty-three. Everyone older than that were either married or old maids and had forgotten ideas of romance. They were not ones to carry romantic fantasies of Mr. Smith in their minds. Of course, everyone liked him, but the younger ones discussed him more often.

Adrianna watched Martha carry off the master's tray, noticing that a smile seated against her dark, and rather pretty, looks. Reinette came and sat opposite of Adrianna on their lunch break, her small hands, and kept in very pretty condition Adrianna noticed, breaking into their usual loaf of bread. Her voice was light and airy, but she still had a sense of intelligence about her. Adrianna knew the younger girl was splendidly smart, just from talking to her. Reinette had sighed as Martha left, commenting afterwards. "It is a pity that she fancies him. One of her kind could really never have a chance with him, even if she was a noblewoman. It could never work out, society would scorn it immediately, what with one of her color and then him being a complete opposite."

The comment was offered as if the speaker had thought about that matter before and didn't much care for it now, had accepted it and moved on. Adrianna's eyes rose to look at her fellow worker. "Oi. Watch it. So what if she's colored?" Reinette opened her mouth to continue but Adrianna shook her head in dismissal. "No. No _nothing_. No _buts_ or anything else of that sort. Martha is a fine young woman and just because she's colored makes her no different than the rest of us. Why, if the master did indeed fancy her back, I'd go right to supporting them both, and I would honestly hope you'd do the same. Love makes no distinction between skin color, it holds no relevance. Love... Love is one of those things that can pull together the strangest of people, the oddest of pairings and make something so beautiful."

He was happy to see Martha had brought his lunch, she rarely did. She was one of the few he didn’t feel awkward with. Easy conversation, polite gestures…she was actually really bright and he had asked her many times to be his nurse, but she kept dragging her feet because of…well, she didn’t want anyone else uncomfortable even though he assured her that despite her color, Martha would be fine at his side.

After she left, John ate quickly and then decided to take a walk through the house. He did that often to check up on things and to make sure that his staff knew that he cared enough to make sure they were all okay. So he strolled easily and slowly, smiling at all and talking to Donna on the way outside to grab more vegetables from the garden and then Jack who had come in for food. It was who he was laughing with as he entered the kitchen. Reinette ran off to grab his empty tray that was obviously still in his room. “How is everything?” he asked, leaning up against the counter. Jack started picking at things while Donna and Reinette scurried back in. His eyes caught the new girl’s—Adrianna—and he smiled.

Adrianna hadn’t expected Mr. Smith to come in after his meal. Most owners didn’t do that, not in her experience. But the more actions he did, the more she was learning that he wasn’t an ordinary owner. He did different things than most others. Again, curious. But appreciated greatly from the other servants and from her as well. Her head had turned to see who approached when the sound of the door opening was loud and her eyes had widened slightly. She paused when the master smiled at her, feeling shy all of a sudden and for no reason at all, and she smiled back. Moving away from the fireplace and back to the preparation table in the middle of the room, her hands started busying themselves as she listened to Mr. Smith speak. When no one stepped forwards to answer, she figured it was rude to leave him hanging, waiting, and _someone_ had to speak to him, right? So her mouth opened, ready to give him a reply when someone beat her to it.

Reinette had returned with his tray, saw her chance and jumped for it. Before heading to the sink to wash the tray, the blonde replied to the master's unanswered question. “Quite well sir. It’s a lovely day, so I don’t think there’d be any way for it to be anything less than that.” She smiled widely, her beautiful features looking twice as lovely. It was hard for the girl to not look lovely, Adrianna had noticed. “We’re working on a few new recipes that Adrianna brought us.” That was when Adrianna looked down at the apples in her hands and before them, the knife carefully cutting out the centers of all eight. She refused to look up, for fear of blushing through she knew not every reason as to why. Why did Reinette have to draw attention to her? Couldn’t she just be allowed to keep quiet in the background and not draw attention to herself? One had less chances of doing something wrong or getting into sticky situations. Her hands trembled the slightest bit and she forced herself to grip the apple and blade harder so as to not draw attention to that shaking.

Dark brown eyes lit up and John looked over at the woman cutting apples, doing her hardest not to look over and frankly it was adorable. He hid that thought, though, and headed over to her side as Donna and Jack started up a conversation behind them. “Is that so?” he asked with a little grin. “I cannot wait to try them. What kind of recipes might they be?” He felt Reinette walk up beside him, but he couldn’t look away from Miss Rivers and he didn’t know why. Adorable and charming seemed to be just the start of who she was. But as a girl probably many years his junior, even if she were in the circle of women the city deemed worthy for him, she wouldn’t want a man way past his prime and ready to just give up hope of a family. At thirty-five he had hoped to be married with at least three children by now. No, she’d want younger, not so work-rough and busy. But it floored John as to why a thing like that came to mind in the first place and he looked to Reinette just to push those thoughts away. They were beyond inappropriate.

Her eyes darted up as he walked over to before she looked back to her hands. She kept her eyes on her task and with his sudden closeness she swallowed lightly but-no. She wouldn’t come across as nervous. No. nervousness was weakness. Showing one was showing the other. She couldn’t do that. “A variety sir.” She had many recipes that she’d memorized from childhood and the ones that weren’t were stored in a box underneath her bed. It had been her mothers and she’d brought it with her as she moved from house to house. “This one in particular is-...”

She looked up as she kept talking and surprisingly he was still watching her, still listening curiously and her mouth dried up. Why had that happened? He was just giving her attention as she spoke, merely out of politeness. Nothing else. But.. he did have as gorgeous eyes as Reinette had said and carried on about. She swallowed, remembering to keep going. “...It-it’s a dessert.” _Not the stuttering again. Don’t do the stuttering._ The knife finished taking off the peel of one apple and moved on to the next. They had to be peeled completely in order to be right for this dessert. “Some think it too sweet.” Her words were a little quieter as she looked back down, remembering to watch so as to not let the knife slip and do something even more stupid.

He watched her carefully, her dainty hands moving over the knife and fruit with precision. He listened to her words and didn't speak for a moment. She was a pro at this, he could tell that already. And still the word "adorable" flashed through his mind. He had never thought about women who worked for him like that. Ever. Not even Donna whose parents had worked for his and then when his parents died, they worked for him until it was just he and Donna left. They grew up together, Donna just three years his senior, and not once did he think her adorable. Pretty, yes, but not adorable. "I believe it will be delicious," he said truthfully. He loved fruit, bananas his favorite, but apples were a close second. Still, he had a feeling he'd eat this all up no matter how sweet it was because she created it. That thought alone almost had him running for the stairs. But he waited, he watched because...well he wanted to. "Thank you sir."

Even though she was looking down at the food before her, she was still acutely aware of him standing right next to her. But Adrianna made herself concentrate on the task before her. She knew she wouldn't have a hard time preparing this meal correctly. The last thing the girl wanted was the dish ruined because of her being sidetracked. She sliced up all the apples and laid them out in a round pie dish, some of the apples laying in extremely thin slices and some in larger chunks. Gentle hands reached for the jar of cinnamon, carefully spreading a layer over the apples. _Almost done._ Adrianna turned to the oven, where she had been working on gradually heating brown sugar till it was completely melted. It had to be in more of a sauce form for this to be completely ready.

With a soft smile, the petite maid stirred it carefully, and as she worked, she forgot about everything else except for that task. She then took the sauce and dribbled it over the apples until it covered the entire top and then had dropped and dripped down to the bottom until it had soaked up each apple in the dish. When she was done, before she put it in the oven, she had a thought and for some reason she went with it. "Traditionally I don't give out extra pieces till its all done..but its a new recipe for this household, so I can spare a one this time. I could always use the extra opinions." As she spoke she had been slicing off a thin slice of one of the soaked apples and handed it to Mr. Smith. Despite how nervous she was feeling nervous she still smiled, looking up to try and hide that. "Don't be afraid to be honest."

He raised an eyebrow when she handed him a piece. Her eyes were looking at him and he didn't know why he felt like he was under a microscope. But it made him twitch slightly before he gave an easy smile and took the piece of apple from her, ignoring the way their fingers brushed when he took it. It was slippery and sugary and gently he tossed it into his mouth. He let out a soft moan as he tasted it and grinned at her. He would've said more if he didn't want to hurt the others around them. But she was the best cook, hands down. "That is amazing," he gushed truthfully. Truly, very good. John licked his fingers some. "...when will it be finished?" He winked playfully and peaked over into the open pie pan.

She had waited for his reaction, watching quietly after she'd dismissed the feeling of that subtle touch. He was many stations above her, it wasn't possible to except anything past friendliness, and even that was a bit of a shock to her, because of her class. He was master of the house, he shouldn't be associating with maids. Not in a friendly manner. Miss Rivers was foolish to believe that something else was in his mind. It was only being thought of because of lost chances that she had had before now. Maybe if she'd met him a few years ago... but no, that was in the past, and was better left forgotten.

A flush of heat and pleasure ran through her body with that appreciation from him. This maid felt more self conscious than ever, but it had to be just from being happy that she had pleased her boss. All maids should think as such. This particular petite woman was the newest addition to the staff, and she had yet to prove herself. But with chances like cooking things that she succeeded in, it shouldn't be difficult. On the flip side...the more selfish side to be honest... Adrianna would be lying if she said that his words and grin hadn't been welcome. "Thank you sir." She smiled back, the grin growing wider with that wink. Was he always this playful? "It should take roughly fifteen minutes." If she had added a pie crust this time, it would have taken longer. But as it was just the apples and the sauce it was already soaking and shouldn't take too long to heat up.

He nodded quickly and then leaned against the counter, crossing both his legs and arms. He liked seeing that grin on her face. Because it meant that he pleased her and he liked the idea that he did that. He didn't care that he hadn't looked at anyone else since he started talking to her, for some reason she was all he could see. "It is fine, you will find I am a very patient man." He winked playfully and licked his lips some out of habit. "Especially if I receive something like that in the end."

"He is a five year old boy when it comes to sweets," Donna teased, causing him to glower at her.

"Am not," he grumbled. "I have a sweet tooth, so what?" Donna just laughed and he shook his head.

"I swear I am not," he said, looking at Adrianna again and she managed without doing anything to make him smile again. Adrianna was unsure why he kept looking over at her, possibly to keep including her in the conversation..? She laughed with the exchange of banter between Donna and Mr. Smith. "It just means you enjoy good food. Nothing wrong with that, sir." She picked up the knife, cutting board, and other few dishes that she had used. Walking over to the sink with them to wash, dry, and then put away, she stopped for a moment to whisper to him, her eyes bright, "I'll admit, I share your sweet tooth," giving a smile to him, again, to be polite. Or at least that was what the woman kept telling herself. She refused to let herself think there was another reason why she wanted to keep smiling. Adrianna set about a few tasks until returning to the oven to pull out the baked apples and set them on the counter.

Mr. Smith saw Donna watching him in amusement as he walked over and stood over the steaming pan, breathing in the delicious vapor. "I believe I officially have the best staff in the city." The food smelled just too good! He grinned and went to speak to Adrianna again when the doorbell rang and he frowned. "Damn. Well I shall be back in about an hour. Leave me some!" he called as he headed out. He had an appointment with the city's resident hypochondriac so he'd be there for awhile. He gave another smile to Adrianna as he left, though, and nodded his head to her as a goodbye.

Adrianna offered him a smile in return, still unsure as to why she kept smiling at him and vice versa. She'd pulled out the dish, with Reinette smiling almost greedily beside her. There was plenty for each of them in the room, with enough left over for Mr. Smith when he returned. She hoped he'd like it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast for this story is as follows:  
> Emma Watson as Adrianna Rivers-Smith, David Tennant as John Smith, Daniel Radcliffe as Micheal Pierce, John Barrowman as Jack Harkness, Catherine Tate as Donna Noble, Billie Piper as Rose Tyler, Camille Coduri as Jackie Tyler, Shaun Dingwall as Pete Tyler

Her nightmares were horrid.

Again.

She didn't have a place to run from _him,_ he was always chasing her, forever chasing her. The man who had put her into slavery, the one who wanted her to be knelt at his feet, the one who convinced her father to give up a body that wasn't his to deal with. Every night he chased her, the darkness surrounding everything. Nightmares were where he haunted her most.

Adrianna sat up in bed, her body jerking and her hands covering her mouth so that she didn't scream. She looked around the dark room, eyes wide and frightened. No... _he'd managed to follow her, he found her room and had entered. And there he stood, back in the back corner, waiting for her to wake up and see him. So he could possess her all over again, or try to._

She jumped out of bed, reaching for her robe before she darted down the stairs. She rushed, stepping faster and faster because she was sure that at any minute he was going to finally touch her again, his hands reach out and touch all over and she could do nothing to stop it. The maid stopped in the library, running in and, almost unaware of it, slammed door behind her. She ran to the curtains in the back, her body shaking as she hid in the dark in a not so good hiding place.

John never slept very soundly. As the only doctor in town, he had to make sure he was awake for emergencies. Not that there were many in a city that small. So it made sense that he heard the noise, the loud slam of a door somewhere in the house. He gasped as he sat up, immediately, throwing the covers back and throwing on his dressing gown and running into the hall. He eased the door open and gently peaked inside, squinting into the dark and seeing no one. "...Hello?" he called softly. Donna and Martha were in the downstairs hallway, confused but awake. "What happened?" he asked. "I do not know, Sir. Someone went into the library I think." John nodded and slowly crept for it. Surely no one broke in, right?

Adrianna breathed harder when she heard the door open. No. She'd thought that he hadn't found her, she'd thought maybe she'd managed to evade him. But no, he would always come to find her. She was trying to decide whether to run or whether to stay when she heard footsteps close by and she clasped her hands to her mouth, trying hard not to make a sound even breathing.

 _No...please no._ Those thoughts echoed round her head as she tried to remain calm, try not to do anything too freaky that could potentially give her away. She put her feet back to the window, trying to make herself as small as possible. _He couldn't find her. He must not, not again._

He didn't think anything was there in the library, and almost shut the door before he heard it. Soft, yet rough breaths. John paused and held a hand up to Martha and Donna to stop murmuring. "...Hello?" he called again. He slowly walked in, his footsteps soft. Finally he noticed movements by the window and frowned. He walked closer, his eyes narrowing. "Excuse me, may I ask who is in here?" His hand blindly reached out.

Adrianna screamed and jumped from the curtains, pushing herself against the wall as she felt the hand. She started shaking, watching the man who looked a lot like Mr. Smith and yet at the same time she wasn't sure. She wished that she could melt into the wall, do anything to just get away, feel safer. His eyes widened when he realized it was the new girl, Adrianna. Frightened and terrified, almost digging into the wall to get away from him. _He found her, he found her. Dameon, the bringer of all nightmares she experienced. The slave trader, the beater, the selfish horror._

"Hey hey hey," he murmured. "It is just me. See? Dr. Smith. Your boss. Whatever you think you see...it is not real, you are safe and...and I promise I will not let anything hurt you. I promise." He tried to hold out his hand so she could initiate the touch instead of him.

She shook as she stood there watching him. As soon as he stretched out his hand she flinched, probably quite visibly. Her fear grew as he had moved closer and she didn't know what to do to make herself stop shaking. Her eyes shut but she knew what was coming and she couldn't stop it no matter how hard she protested. "Please... please don't touch me... please don't touch me..." She whispered the words, being unable to speak louder as she repeated the words over and over again. "Please...please don't touch me.." But her words couldn't change it. They never could.

His eyes widened more and he retreated immediately. Her reaction hadn't been anticipated in the slightest. John relented, he didn't want to cause any more harm than was obviously already there. He looked behind him to Donna and Martha, backing up and waving them forward. "Please," he whispered, standing outside the door as they tried to help. "Help her." Mr. Smith looked on sadly, wishing that there was something more that he could do, more than just go back to bed. But she wouldn't let him, and he didn't want to pressure her--he would never do something like that. The doctor would never harm a soul, not on purpose and definitely not how he had assumed she thought. He knew he should leave all together, but he wanted to make sure she was okay before he left them. It didn’t matter that John didn't know what happened, but whatever was plaguing her made him sad for her.

Her eyes were widened as she watched him gesture someone forwards and she crouched down against the wall, covering her head. She was still locked in her dream state, her saneness hadn't tried to remedy itself back to normal yet. She buried her head in her arms feeling upset still and nearly ready to cry. "Please...please." He'd said something hadn't he...? Adrianna wasn't sure, wasn't aware exactly what he'd said. She looked up with the sound of someone else approaching in front of her, her eyes blurry and stopping her from seeing clearly. The frightened state of her mind didn't help either.

John watched as Donna approached, kneeling down to her, her night gown and robe spread around her on the floor. She didn't reach out, but her eyes were soft and full of unshed tears for the younger woman. "It is okay. You are safe. I promise, he will not hurt you. Ever. Ever ever again. You are safe in this house with me and Martha." Standing aside and listening, John knew it was better to leave his name out for now. He didn't want the mention of a man to scare her again. "You cannot get hurt. That man is gone, please, my child. Come with me. I will tuck you back in and get you a nice warm cuppa, and stay until you fall asleep. How does that sound, love?" John looked on eagerly, rapt attention to make sure Adrianna was okay. That's all he cared about, his own sleep be damned.

Adrianna pulled her head up at the soft words, words so unlike the ones that were familiar, that she had expected to hear. She blinked, her cheeks streaked with fallen tears and eyes full of ones waiting to be released. She wasn't concerned about her appearance right now though, those things were petty and irrational now. Her hands moved up to rub her eyes, and she was almost surprised to see that the voice came from Donna and Martha, watching her with concern. Choking back a sob, she was able to succeed until she reached out for Donna, hugging her in almost blind agony. The reality of her dreams were still present in her mind, and she didn't know what else to do but cling to this caring woman, trying so hard not to start crying again.

John sighed in relief when he saw Donna holding her tight. She very much needed that and part of him wished that was himself. But he didn't even dare walk back in the room. Donna held the girl tightly, making soft noises and rocking them back and forth. "You are fine, you are okay." She rubbed her back soothingly and hoped Adrianna understood all they wanted was her good health. "Come now, Martha shall bring us tea. Let us go to your room and we can even read if you would like. Mr. Smith has a very nice book collection and you can borrow anything you want." Martha glanced at him and John waved her over to murmur more instructions. "Tea and more blankets. If it happens again, please do not hesitate to call me. It would be better if I left for now." Martha nodded once and he glanced at them once more before slowly shuffling back upstairs.

Adrianna's heart hurt, still trembling but she pushed it down, tried to shove her emotions down like she always did. "Thank you." She whispered the words against fabric. She said nothing else, still unsure of herself, but she went along with the older woman's suggestions, following her blindly as first tea and then blankets, and then up to her room again. She was a fool. She should've kept quiet, not let the household know she was plagued by nightmares. They'd want her gone the next morning she thought as she fell back asleep with Donna still at her side. They wouldn't want to worry about her waking up like this over and over again. At least they'd been kind enough to let her finish the night with a roof over her head. She fully expected to be dismissed in the morning however.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast for this story is as follows:  
> Emma Watson as Adrianna Rivers-Smith, David Tennant as John Smith, Daniel Radcliffe as Micheal Pierce, John Barrowman as Jack Harkness, Catherine Tate as Donna Noble, Billie Piper as Rose Tyler, Camille Coduri as Jackie Tyler, Shaun Dingwall as Pete Tyler

Donna stayed with her until she was sure that she had no more nightmares and then dragged herself back to bed. John had his housekeeper sleep a couple extra hours in the morning even though she protested. He even let Martha and Adrianna sleep longer and by 8am, he was knocking on his newest maid's door. He was careful, though. He didn't want to frighten her again. He just wanted to make sure she knew that she would always have people here to talk to and be friends with.

Adrianna had gotten up with the same early time that she always did. Maybe that would have come as a surprise for some people, but her body was used to it so it was nearly a natural instinct to be an early riser now. She'd sat by her window, watching outside even though it was chilly, getting colder with every passing day. Slowly, she turned with the knock, walking over to open the door. She instantly felt shame when she saw it was Mr. Smith. What could she say to him? Truly? Her fingers wrapped around the door, curling around the side as she kept her head on the ground. He was most likely here to tell her to leave, just like all the others. All she had to do was wait for the order. "I'm sorry sir." The silence was feeling awkward, but she didn't know what else to say. It was clear what was coming, if past experience told her anything.

He looked at her warily, his body straight as he tried to be nonthreatening. He wasn't sure if she had a trigger. But he gave her a soft smile and locked his hands behind his back. He nodded softly to her and cleared his throat some. "Good morning, Miss Rivers. Please do not apologize. I just wanted to let you know that you are welcome to talk to any of us. I understand if you do not wish to, but we are here for you. Please tell me if you need anything and feel free to stay in here for another hour before you start your duties." He let his smile widened some in hopes she understood that he cared and would never hurt her.

Her head jerked up, utter shock flashing into her eyes. For a moment she wondered if she had heard him speak correctly. But no, he was looking at her, his eyes entirely sincere that she was positive that he had indeed been truthful with her. "You're....you're not dismissing me..?" Surely he jest. No one wanted a servant with a defect. Every time she had been a part of another household and they had discovered she had such vivid, action inducing nightmares, she had been gone by the following morning, dismissed. Not that she blamed them.

He frowned softly. Did he really seem like the type of man to do that? He didn't want to come across that way. He wanted to treat his servants as friends and he really wanted to help, how could he do so if he dismissed her? "Why would I? Everyone has a past and everyone has nightmares." He paused some and figured to gain her trust, he'd tell her something he'd never said aloud to anyone before. Only Donna knew because she was there. "My father was also a doctor. But he was a rough man. He was the type of master who you have probably experienced before: disciplined, cold, calculating, and servants were nothing more than replaceable objects. They were dirt. I knew when he died when I was sixteen that I had to follow him and that this house would soon be mine. But I vowed never to act like him. I got my own back broken from a whip because I told him he could not treat people like that. My mother never cared to stop him, she drank that away." He took a deep breath. "I know of nightmares, Miss Rivers. I dreamed of him and his abuse for years. I have never said a word. Except to you." He gulped and looked at his feet. "You have nothing to fear here. You will not be dismissed unless you do something to deserve it."

She felt an urge to reach out and hug him, push his nightmares away. Adrianna's soul was one of care and concern, and anytime she saw a hurting heart she wanted to take that hurt away. Her eyes blinked with the suddenly of that thought. No, she didn't have any sort of permission to do so, let alone think that way. His father was someone that sounded similar to her own, and she could relate to Mr. Smith. Both of them with troubled pasts, both keeping them a secret. "Thank you sir..." She watched him quietly, debating just what words she should speak next. "And..." she swallowed, "you're not at all like him sir. I can see that." Maybe that was too forward, but it was better to say than other things she was thinking. "You're much better." Her eyes were soft, compassionate, as she watched the man in front of her.

John's eyes lit up at her words. She barely knew him and yet she was able to see that about him. Never had someone except Donna (once Martha maybe) told him this. That was what most of the nightmares were about: his father coming back and he himself turning into his father. But he refused and that's partly why he had stayed alone for so long. He had a bad temper and he didn't want to hurt anyone. So he made himself be lonely. "Thank you, Miss Rivers," he whispered, embarrassed. "Well...I must leave you now, but please consider talking. Donna and Martha are here to listen of course." He figured she wouldn't want to tell him. He smiled and bowed slowly. "Rest some more and I will see you this afternoon." With a quick goodbye, he turned and left her to rest in her bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cast for this story is as follows:  
> Emma Watson as Adrianna Rivers-Smith, David Tennant as John Smith, Daniel Radcliffe as Micheal Pierce, John Barrowman as Jack Harkness, Catherine Tate as Donna Noble, Billie Piper as Rose Tyler, Camille Coduri as Jackie Tyler, Shaun Dingwall as Pete Tyler
> 
> There are hints of non-con rape in this section. This topic will appear in little sections on and off through this story as it is a prominent part of Adrianna's past.

Nearly two months later, Adrianna pulled the tray of dinner off the kitchen table before traipsing up the back stairs. Donna had asked her to take Mr. Smith's evening meal upstairs that night, so as soon as it was prepared she did as she was bidden. She'd stopped on the way out, reaching over to a cookie platter with freshly baked gingersnaps on top to take three up to him. She lifted the lid and slipped them onto the plate as she ascended. Her hand rose to rap her knuckles on the closed door to see if he was ready for her to answer.

His work was almost finished when he heard the knock. John was finishing up pages of his journal, wanting to get everything down so he could pass it on down the road whether an assistant or his heir. Pushing his hair off his face, he did something he didn't normally do and kept his glasses on. "Come in!" he called, standing against the desk and crossing his arms over his open vest, his shirt already unbuttoned from earlier, as the doctor had tried to become more comfortable. Adrianna turned the handle, using her back to open the door fully.

She strode quickly over to his desk, setting the tray down on the hard surface. "Good evening sir." Her eyes widened slightly as she realized his full look tonight. It was still him, of course, but so different from what she had seen him look like before. The semi-v-necked shirt and open vest with no jacket to cover it. His confident and yet relaxed pose against the desk... the glasses. She... she _liked_ it.

Of course she did, she liked however he looked.

She smiled at him, forcing herself to smile and push thoughts that she had away, or at least bury them for now. Because she couldn't have those thoughts. He did look good though. She took a step back from the desk, her hands resting behind her back and against dark brown fabric of her traditional work dress. This particular one had shorter sleeves, stopping at the end of her shoulder blades, because the one that was longer on the arms was still drying from yesterday's wash. She didn't have a sweater and her wool cape and hood wasn't something for indoors. She didn't complain though; maybe she could make herself one once she had enough money for fabric. Till then she could do without.

The master of the house grinned at her, so glad it was her. Even so, he refused to let himself admit to why. He saw her look shocked and realized her probably should've redressed himself. This was inappropriate and when he turned to take a look at his food, he buttoned up his shirt the rest of the way before followed with his vest. He sniffed the food and kept the glasses on, sighing at the delicious fragrance. "Smells absolutely delicious, Miss Rivers," John said, his voice full of pride. "Do not tell the others I said this, but you might be promoted to head cook so I can keep getting this." He chuckled, his eyes dancing as he looked at her.

She laughed at his comment, a hand immediately raising to partially hide her smile. It was a habit of hers since childhood. She'd become more willing to laugh and smile in this friendly household, but she was still self-conscious about it at times. "Thank you sir. That's very kind of you." Adrianna was truly pleased that he was fond of her cooking and told her so. That was one of the very few things that her mother had left behind for her and she'd intended to make the most of it.

He liked her laugh. Not that he'd tell her that bit of course. Things like that were inappropriate. But he definitely liked it, the way her face lit up with it. The doctor wanted to say something more, something that would make her laugh. But he couldn't think of thing, suddenly very aware of his own words and movements. John switched his feet awkwardly and smiled. "How are you liking it here so far?" he said instead, cursing himself.

"Its quite pleasant." She'd been able to feel more at 'home' in the weeks past. Honestly, it would be nearly impossible for her to not because of the people she worked with. "I'm happy I was able to find work here rather then at another location." And she'd known there were other open possibilities, but she wouldn't go back to them. Her dark brown eyes flickered over to the desk and once again her curiosity flared. That would get her in trouble one day she had no doubts. But for now, maybe she could venture a question. "Might, might I ask what you're working on sir?" A slight gesture with her hand moved with her words to draw attention to the papers on the desk.

He nodded along with her words, humbling words at that. Not sure why, but he knew other masters to be...harsh. He didn't even consider himself a master. Mr. Smith was their boss yes, but they weren't animals. He cared for them and with most, he thought of them as family. "I am so happy to hear that," he said truthfully. Looking to his papers, he shrugged some. "Nothing too exciting. It is just some formulas for possible illness cures. Random ideas on how to help the seemingly incurable. Even if I cannot do something due to lack of medicine or technology or I am just not intelligent enough, perhaps someone along the road can use my thoughts and help people." He smiled at her gently. "That is all I want, after all. To do so in any way I can even if is not under my direct hand." 

"That's... that's amazing." She smiled softly, immediately fascinated and growing more so the more he spoke. She wished she could so something like that. It was so amazing, and entirely him. She'd seen him investigating and heard of others that he'd done before now, so this didn't surprise her one bit. "Have you been able to make any progress?" Maybe this time her curiosity hadn't been wasted. Her eyes grew brighter with excitement and imagining all the possibilities if he really had been able to stumble onto something. All of the wonderful possibilities for the world, each idea more incredible than the last.

John glanced at her in pleasant surprise. Why did she care if he had? Why did that please him that she did care? But it did. It pleased him and he wanted to tell her all about it. He really did. He chuckled softly and ran a hand through his hair. "Some," he answered. "There is a lot more I would like to do, but there is more money needed than even I have to do so." He paused some before grabbing the book and holding it out to her. "I know it may seem like gibberish, I do not understand all I wrote even, but... Miss Rivers, if I am correct, that is the cure for yellow fever."

She took the book and began scanning the pages eagerly. Everything seemed right, the research more than probable. "Fantastic..." The word was murmured, pleased and appreciative. His work was astounding, so much research had been done already and he wasn't finished. "If you've found it..." Oh all the good he could do. "Can you imagine? No more, just, _gone_." She looked up quickly, a smile widening.

He chuckled softly, more than pleased with himself for her words. His body had perked up and he was grinning at her. "I would love to actually do this full research for it. I would either need to put my entire estate on the line or get the grants for it." He paused. "What do you think I should do…Adrianna?" He ignored how delicious her name sounded in his mouth.

Adrianna's body stiffened with shock, for two different reasons. Shock that he'd used her first name, and shock at how much she liked hearing him saying it. She closed the book in her hands, swallowing softly. "You should go after it... it clearly means a good deal to you. And when something is important, or you're greatly interested, you should just let it go so easily." She looked up from the pages and noticed his grin, and ignored the feeling of it going straight to her heart. "Possibly, grants before estate. You still want to live under a roof if it doesn't work out completely, right?"

He nodded along with her words, his eyes bright and he gently took his papers back from her fingers, ignoring the spark when his fingers brushed hers. "You are completely right," he said. "I think that is a great idea. I just need to convince the grant committee as easily as you that it would be worth the money." John leaned against the desk again, grinning. "What did you do before you came here? You are much more intelligent than about ninety percent of this staff."

The maid pushed away all thought of that touch and focused instead on what sort of answer to give to him. "My past isn't really much to speak of." His compliment was greatly appreciated though. Unnecessary, but appreciated. "I served other... masters... like I was... required to do." Her hands shook. She knew he'd had a not so wonderful past as well, both of them would rather forget theirs. She shut her eyes, not willing to let herself fully embrace the memories. After pausing a minute to try and compose herself at those mental images, she spoke again, though her voice trembled. "It's best left to those who enjoyed it, not to the one that had to live through those days."

John frowned at her answer, remembering her nightmares and feeling terrible about asking her. He beat himself up, cursing and looking down at his feet. Quickly he made his way around the back of the desk, suddenly remembering his dinner which was rapidly getting cold. "Yes," he said softly. "Well... you will not find people like that here. I would dismiss them in a second. You have my word." He looked up at her, his eyes wary as he tried not to think of her being frightened of him. "Please, may I have your word that you will tell me if you become frightened? Or at least Donna and she will tell me. You do not have anything to fear here, and I intend to keep that promise."

She opened her mouth, almost second-guessing herself. "...If you're willing... to listen…" She paused, taking a breath as her hands clasped behind her back once more and her eyes dropped down. "I'll explain my reasons. I know I owe that to you for being understanding with the… nightmares." She spoke slowly, knowing full well that there were several reasons why she should speak, and that she didn't mind telling him.

He studied her slowly before shaking his head. "Do not tell me because you think I want you to. I do, but only because I want to help. I wouldn't push for answers. There is nobody on this estate that will harm you. Jack, Donna, me..." He shrugged helplessly. He hated feeling helpless. "If you do not want to tell me—now or ever—that is fine." He walked around the desk again, slowly so he didn't alarm her. "Please just know that you are safe here. And... I-I hope you find a home here."

Her head shook slowly, disagreeing. Adrianna wasn't speaking only from a feeling of debt. Yes, that was part of it, but there was more. She hadn't told anyone about this before, those who didn't know. But she knew, though maybe not why she had let herself, that she trusted Mr. Smith. "You care... at least, what I mean is, I know that you wouldn't laugh or treat it in a way that would make me regret saying anything." She watched him while she spoke, that self defense that she'd built up still on guard even though she felt actually okay about confessing now. She closed her eyes as she felt her throat thicken. She couldn't back out now, stop focusing on him beside her. She'd just talk and talk until she was done, fearful that if she stopped before the whole story was out that all the tears would follow as well. Adrianna refused to cry. Too many tears had been wasted already. "My father ran a questionable business for the longest time. A pleasure house...a brothel. He called it the family business, even though I can just barely remember my mother protesting before she passed. I was too young to do anything about it.

“Everyone knew what he did, and he'd been doing it for years, so of course his skill in that area of gaining money and girls grew stronger the more he invested. I don't know why I'd been luckier longer than the other women. It was only a matter of time really...when I look back now, it’s not a surprise. I was out taking care of the laundry when one of Peter's, that's father's name, regular customers came out of a session. He spoke to Peter and I was given a new job. And when one man gets a new girl, suddenly they're _all_ interested." Her fingernails dug into her palm, the only outward sign she showed that it still affected her. She swallowed again, refusing to let her voice shake. She could do this. "Ni-...nine years... A long time to know that struggle, though I know women whom he'd had for their whole lives. I don't really have any reason to be sorry for myself, because I'm out of it now and I'm moving on. They can't. They didn't make it out of there." Her head shook again, "And that's why I have nightmares, because the memories are still alive..."

As she talked, he couldn't help the anger that flared within him. At her father, at the men that touched her. He understood now why she didn't want to tell him. He understood her fears. He knew more about abusive fathers than she thought he did. But hers... there was no excuse for what her father did. John tried very hard not to let himself shake with the anger. Instead he slowly walked the couple feet closer to her, standing over her, his eyes fiery yet tender. "I will never allow a thing like that to happen again. You are one of us now and I will not allow anyone to harm you. Ever. Ever again." He wanted to touch her, and the thought was terrifying. _She tells you about her father and you want to touch her...idiot_. So he took a step back, sorrowfully shaking his head. "I am so sorry about what happened to you. Had I known it was something like that, I would not have asked. You deserve to keep it a secret." Letting out a shaky sigh, he bowed his head to her.

She watched him with wide eyes as he crossed closer to her, standing a few inches away. Her heart skipped a beat and she ignored it. So what if he looked at her like that? He was a compassionate man and he felt sorry for her. That was it. She had a sudden urge to lean against his chest and sob; and immediately she mentally reprimanded herself for it. "Thank you.. But it was time to tell someone." Her hands shook and she clutched them with the other to try and make them stop. "I'm...I'm glad I was able to tell you." She murmured. Since his head was down she allowed herself to keep looking at him, her excuse being that his gaze was elsewhere. "Honestly."

John was glad to hear her words. He honestly was because he didn't want her or anyone else in his staff thinking he was cold hearted or that he didn't care. Because he did. A lot. Maybe more than society says he should about his servants, but he was a compassionate man. He cared about everyone he came in contact with unless they didn't deserve it. "I-I am glad you told me, also. You can tell me something and I will listen all you need." Gently he reached out, to touch her shoulder in comfort. Apparently no matter what his head said to him, he didn't listen. He just wanted to comfort her. "Please remember that Adrianna."

Again with the name. She wasn't sure which one she'd responded to, the gentle touch on her shoulder, or her name coming from his mouth. Managing a smile, she nodded her head in acknowledgment. "Thank you sir." She wanted to linger there, to memorize his soft touch on her shoulder more than once… but her head was arguing against it to no end. She took a step back, and her foot caught on her many skirts. Her feet stumbled back and forth, trying to regain her balance as arms flailed a little. Maybe if she grabbed something it could help. Either way, whether she fell or not, she knew she looked like an idiot.

His eyes widened and quickly he made a grab for her arms and then her waist. Appropriate or not, he kept his word that he'd help... who was he to let her stumble over her own skirts when he just told her he'd help her in any way? Grabbing her to him, hoping she was steady, he lifted her back onto her feet, standing straight up in front of him. He gave her a little grin. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.

She swallowed quickly, embarrassed that she'd fallen in the first place, and embarrassed that he'd had to catch her. "F-f...fine. I'm fine." Her head nodded to confirm it, and very slowly, her downcast eyes looked up to see him and his smile. She offered one in return, though it was weaker because her mind was preoccupied. It was so inappropriate, her standing like this and him touching her like that. She had no right to be here, to be standing so close. She didn't feel threatened by him at all, she wondered if she ever would, but knew this was wrong according to society's standards. But still she made no move to remove herself.

"Are you sure, Adrianna?" He meant that in so many different ways and his eyes flickered over her face for any signs of doubt. For any signs of being uncomfortable. Instead of letting her go, he pulled her up right, his face dangerously close to hers. "I will protect you," he murmured. He didn't know why, but the words felt so right. His breath drifted over her exposed neck and he breathed a little harder once he realized that was so.

She was so conflicted. _Why_ did her name sound so good from him? She shuddered with that feeling of his light breath against her neck, eyes threatening to close. Why was he so close? _Why_ did it feel like it was _supposed_ to be like this? "I know.." She just barely managed to whisper a response; better to do that than to do what she'd rather do. Opening her eyes again, they widened a little to see that the gaze was fixed on his lips, ones so dangerously close to her. And yet... if she was honest she didn't mind at all.

He felt the struggle to breathe as she looked at him. Her eyes... oh he could most definitely get lost in them. Beautiful, deep... just like herself. Eyes were the window to the soul and he could see all of her in them everything he knew and everything he didn't. All she wanted him to know and all she didn't. Perfection. And he couldn't help lean closer, his lips tickling hers and his breath halting as he stood above her, his arms locked around her small waist. "Adrianna..." He closed the distance, still looking. His lips ever so gently on hers. So soft, oh god...

She couldn't breathe, couldn't move. She didn't know how to react as shock filled her up. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Her heart threatened to stop as he brushed his lips against her own before pressing harder. She was in so much trouble. But, she might as well enjoy it while she could because it wasn't going to last long. Her eyes fluttered shut, her body falling into a submissive state in his arms. Her head tilted up to press firmer against his lips and she didn't regret it one bit.

John felt her give and that was a beautiful feeling. The way she pressed into him, the way her body was curved against his own. Now he seemed to be holding her against him so he could reach her lips, no longer just to keep her off the ground. And he pressed close, his lips soft but kissing deep. He couldn't let her go. He couldn't. Not yet. She was too soft, tasted too good.

If Adrianna had been asked in days before if she'd ever enjoy a kiss, she would have laughed. But now...now was a different matter. Her soft body up against his, that kiss still lingering was enjoyable. More so if she let herself think about it. But her head fought, what if someone walked in? What if she was being too forward by letting him continue? She pressed forward quickly and then back, breaking it. She shouldn't have kissed him in the first place, but god how she wanted to do it again. Her eyes searched his, "...Sir...?" She wasn't upset as she questioned, but rather unwilling to let her curiosity go. She needed an explanation. "What... please. Explain that." She whispered against him, still caught in his embrace. She wasn't quite ready to let go of that yet.

That kiss was way too short. The press of her lips was gone and his lips felt cold. Oh he hadn't been kissed in so long. It was almost too much of a feeling. He slowly let his eyes flicker open and he looked down at her through barely opened eyes. And then he realized what happened. Who she was, who he was. He thought her equal to him, but others didn't. John worried more about her than himself and gently he set her away, moving behind the desk in a flash, his eyes widening and he ran his hand through his floppy hair. "I-I... I do not know," he whispered. "I... I am sorry, Miss Rivers. I should not have done that. Please forgive me." He should have asked. She deserved more than that, she was a lady

She swallowed, her head dropping down. What was she supposed to say in response to that? What did he want to hear? She stood silently as he sat behind the desk, old separations falling into place again. Slowly, her mouth opened, daring to ask a question in a whisper. "Did... did you not mean it then?" She was so hesitant to ask, but she had to know. He had to have an answer, an explanation. She wanted to know why, even if she wouldn't like the answer. She'd been near and he'd kissed her, of course he had. She didn't mean anything to him. She… she _couldn't._ It made no sense.

He looked up at her sharply. "Oh I did," he said thickly. "I meant it very much. But—" He stopped and shook his head, gulping and his hand shaking as he ran it through his hair. She had no idea how much he meant it. "But you had just told me about your nightmares, what happened to you. I took advantage of that, and for that reason, Miss Rivers, I am so sorry." He looked up, his face full of sorrow and compassion.

"Please... please don't apologize." She closed her eyes and shook her head, bangs swishing back and forth. "Don't apologize for something that both people involved meant to happen." She looked down sharply. "Because then it could ruin it, the-the moment." Good _god_ she sounded like a sap. Sure she meant it, but did she really have to say it like that? _Fantastic job, idiot. Fancy saying anything else stupid?_

He gulped some, his fingers gripping the back of his chair tightly. "...you-you meant it, too?" he asked, his voice suddenly small. It wouldn't have been the first time a woman tried to get close to him. He was a rich man, he knew that, and others were persuaded by their fathers or own selfish reasons to get close. For that he had never married, had never been close to a woman except Donna, and closed his heart off even as kind and gentle as he acted. His heart felt like just a stone, deadweight, a black hole in his chest. He had a good facade. Still, that didn't mean he thought she was trying to get close for his money. But he knew the feeling that would come if he found out later she tricked him into believing she really wanted him and not the money. It was more familiar than John wished it to be. Yet she seemed sincere in her words and that's what made him pause, made him look at her again because he didn't detect malice in her. And he wanted to hear more of her words.

She bit her lip and kept her gaze down. This was dangerous territory, she knew. For more reasons than just her current servant's class. She hadn't always been a part of this class, but now that she was, she had to follow the standards it had. But she had to say something now. She didn't know what was pushing her on to speak, but she knew she had to confess. "...y-yes..." Of course she did. She'd wanted to know the touch of his lips for a while, but would never have admitted it. It wasn't her place. "I know..." her hand clenched at her side, "I know its improper of me to say something like that...but if we're being honest then I have to. So... yes. I meant it." Adrianna raised her gaze slowly, looking over at him and trying to stop her hands from shaking. If anyone else heard what she'd said... she would be done for.

He nodded slowly, letting out a breath. He didn't want to, but he believed her. And it almost killed him because he didn't want to. But he did. And he stared at her, taking in her breathtaking beauty. Her lips. Oh he kissed them. And for that he was so damn lucky. "You can always be honest with me, Adrianna. Always." He smiled gently. He didn't want to harm...whatever this was even though it could go no further. He wasn't stupid enough to believe it could.

She nodded in confirmation. "I have no doubt, Sir." Her gaze dropped down then as her mind was in a rush. So much left unsaid, things that never could be said. Oh she was a fool. A plain and ordinary fool. Slowly, she half-curtsied to him with a bend of her knee. She couldn't look at him again, not now. Slowly she turned and left the room, closing the door behind her. Once it was shut, yet another wall of separation, she sighed and bit her lip. She'd had a moment and that's all she would have. Now was the time to let it go. She felt like crying at that thought, but what was the point? Instead she tiptoed down the stairs again, heading to her room to retire for the night.

He almost called out for her. He didn't want her to leave. He knew it was his fault for letting her go, but he said nothing. Just slid into his seat silently and stared at the door, hoping her to come back. Wishing. Because...well he didn't know why. But he wanted her to. He was a stupid, stupid man for wanting it, but he couldn't help it. He liked her more than he should and as he started his writing to take his mind off her and that kiss, he couldn't bring himself to care.


End file.
